Transforming Rejection: How to Use It As A Turning Point in Healing Deep Psychic Wounds
As we’re immersed in full-on ascension now, I am being shown what holds humanity back from rising to the next level of our evolution so that I can lead people back to their core power. What has recently arisen is the fear of rejection and the negative impact that rejection has on our collective psyche.
The experience of rejection, whether real or imagined, can destroy your sense of self and block you from knowing your full power. It triggers shame, taints the way you perceive yourself, dims your inner light.
Rejection can range from someone you love casting off your relationship, to your new neighbour not complimenting the cookies you baked for them. A gift of food, artistic creation, loving gesture, business offering… can result in the feeling of rejection if the receiver of what you’re giving is deemed to be critical of it.
Criticisms from others can be experienced as rejection of who you are and provoke a deep sense of being unwhole, flawed and less-than.
Being misunderstood can also be experienced as a form of rejection. From someone incorrectly interpreting your gesture, to people in general being confused about who you are.
Rejection can even afflict one when there is no apparent cause to feel rejected. An innocent gesture, such as someone looking at a certain direction that has nothing to do with you, can trigger outrage for one who is deeply wounded.
Usually dismissed as simply a self-esteem problem, rejection can hurt you in deeper and more insidious ways than you may realise.
Fear of Rejection Drains You of Power
Most people would not admit to being oversensitive to other people’s criticism or judgments of them. They may cover it up to portray a strong façade of being impenetrable to being hurt. This defensive behaviour is totally understandable. Yet they are suffering from acute emotional pains inside.
The strong façade portrayed may also ‘invite’ more harsh treatments from others, who are under the illusion that they can say or do anything to such persons without them getting hurt. This is no excuse for the perpetrators, by the way; it does not condone any abusive behaviours whether the person on the receiving end is strong or vulnerable.
How to Get Out of the Cycle of Rejection
Thus, they are trapped in a vicious cycle of encountering more situations that leave them feeling rejected, yet unable to talk about it… and the pattern has no way of being healed and transformed, overtime resulting in increasing damage to their sense of self.
When stuck in the cycle of rejection, other people’s words and actions have the power to hurt you. You allow what they say/don’t say, do/don’t do, choose or decide to have a harming effect on you.
The reason you’re stuck in this painful cycle is because it has become a conditioned, automatic reaction in you – so much so you that don’t examine it to see if it’s appropriate – eventhough it is out of place and context. On this level, you are allowing it.
If you find yourself saying, “But I can’t help it,” that is also an automatic response.
#1 Name it.
To break out of the hypnosis of being stuck in the rejection cycle, start by naming the origin of the feelings that are triggered. These feelings come from past trauma of being rejected. In other words, the situation right now has triggered traumatic feelings from your past. Your feelings are not all from the current situation.
Assign it to the right compartment. This creates distance and allows you to see that what you’re feeling is out of context. In that moment, you regain some power from the situation.
You can begin to allow healing of your trauma from those situations in the past, instead of just reacting to the trigger which goes nowhere as far as your healing goes but perpetuates the cycle.
#2 A matter of alignment.
Being rejected is rarely because one is not good enough. It is almost always because there’s a mismatch somewhere. We all have our own individual tastes, preferences, lifestyle choices, standards and values. When two parties are aligned, the exchange will be smooth and easy. The contrary is also true.
Seen this way, being rejected is actually a good thing. It filters out any misaligned partnership, which if forced will almost be guaranteed to be difficult if not outright fail.
#3 Wake up.
Who you are in your core is incapable of being damaged. Even if someone’s action was indeed an outright rejection of you, even if someone really does dislike you or what you do, does that really put a dent on who you are at your core?
If you ask yourself this question sincerely, you will see that nothing anyone does has the power to change your true essence. The part of you that is hurt is the outer layer governed by ego. But beneath that layer is who you truly are: infinite, eternal, indestructible and divinely perfect.
#4 Slow it down.
What tends to happen when encountering a form of rejection is your mind goes around in a loop, while you analyse the triggering act, with each cycle generating more hurt and fury, and ending in the same conclusion.
Slow it down. See it in slow motion. See the oncoming harsh energy towards you, and how you try to block it from touching you.
In blocking off, you produce thoughts to counter the rejection, as it is a natural defensive mechanism. These thoughts become an entangled mass of self-berating and condemning others.
Instead of pushing it away, getting angry so you won’t feel the hurt so much, allow yourself to feel the hurt. Let it trigger hurt, and let the hurt move through you in waves. Once the waves have moved through, you will feel neutral, then peace, and you’re liberated from the cycle.
The harshness of their words (or even just your interpretation of it) is psychic energy full of charge and intensity. Let it play out, instead of trying to minimise it, so that it can be released. Repeat until no charge is left when you think about it.
Turn it into a sacred delivery, where the pain is embraced as sacred medicine. Once felt with total presence, it can transform you and make you impenetrable to the same pain ever again.
#5 Mend the brokenness.
Decide to end this tormenting cycle of being hurt-angry, once and for all. Allow yourself to notice that this is a pocket of insanity in your mind showing up, rising to the surface for you to see, and it creates a block on many levels beyond what you consciously know, holding you back from truly thriving. Embrace it as an opportunity to turn it around.
Apart from the inner thought dynamics described earlier, you’re also likely to obsess over taking certain actions to correct the situation: to change the person’s mind about you.
Perhaps this has worked in certain situations in the past, where you were able to alleviate someone’s discontent by quickly apologising, giving up what’s really important to you, or some othter way of giving away a parcel of yourself to gain external validation.
Instead of intensely trying to change the situation so that it validates you and not reject you – to wait for external circumstances to change so that you will feel validated – decide to transform your inner state.
There is tremendous power in saying, “This time, I don’t want to make them change their mind about me, I want to change my mind about myself.”
No matter what’s happening outside, can you still hold love for yourself? Can you still see yourself as whole? Can you love yourself, when someone is saying that about you?
Your immediate answer will likely be no. But as you stay here, you will experience a shift in your consciousness.
This enables actual healing of the deep wound to take place – a direct healing-up back to wholeness.
‘Divine Acceptance’ – A Remedy
Divine Acceptance is a sacred field that transforms you and the situation when you settle into it. It brings you to zeropoint, the realm of all possibilites, as you release resistance and obsessive control over the situation.
Allow yourself to expand into a place of relaxed healing and trusting. You’re lifted out of low vibration, struggles and limitations – into peace, love and illuminance.
Let Divine Acceptance support you in your transformation. Just by reading these words, you can access the magical powers of Divine Acceptance.